Foolish Ambition Makes Films (#11)

A sense of community. Making something beyond yourself. Telling stories. (Imagine someone saying this really dramatically in one of those solemn, self-righteous, annoying commercials with like, Brad Pitt.) 

So I'm making a film. Abhishek is collaborating with me. 3 months, no crew, a vague idea, and a hell of a lot of foolish ambition.
Materials: I'm planning on using my Nikon camera to shoot the film, tripod, and my laptop to edit the film as well as write up the screenplay.

Anticipated Obstacles/Roadblocks: Time management, people-management, and maybe a fear of making something absolutely horrible? We'll go with finding good, willing actors. I'm flexible on the 'good' part.
People to consult: Brandon Monokian, a playwright in New Jersey, maybe? Definitely some outside sources (Ms Mystrena) to edit along the way. I think I'll be watching a lot of films within these next few months for some sort of inspiration and I'll probably get a copy of Filmmaking for Dummies. We'll see how this goes.
"I have no idea what I'm doing, but incompetence has never stopped me from plunging in with enthusiasm." I feel ya, Woody Allen.
But all great artists and geniuses have small beginnings, right? I'll just keep telling myself that and hope this doesn't go down in flames.

So You Want To Be a Filmmaker? (#10)

I’m not here to complain about the unjust double standards that women are held to or the “thin-spiration” messages that are sent to girls through so many ads, although those are real and prominent issues that many women and girls have to face,  along with many other hindrances. I’m more focused on ways that we can improve and are improving these problems that women face, particularly in creative work fields. Do me a favor and think of your favorite movie. Chances are, the movie you just thought of was directed or written by a man. I know my favorite movie is. Now try thinking of a movie directed by a female with a female protagonist. I’m guessing you headed for the romantic comedy section and were a little confused when- the Sex and the City series was created by a man? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for guys writing stories with female protagonists, but seeing that so many industries are dominated by men can be a little disheartening for ambitious young women out there. Fewer than 10% of film directors are women and less than 15% or screenwriters are women. Six percent of today’s films are created by women.Think about that-we are missing half of the population’s stories.  A little daunting to try to start a living in the film industry when the statistics are less than in your favor.
I want to make films when I grow up. I realize that’s a lot to hope for, and if I do make it in the film industry, there are going to be a lot of soul-crushing nights spent alone with a tub of ice cream and a general lack of inspiration. But at least having the opportunity to create what I love and make a living off of that is enough for me. Being successful is another story. I’m not begging for men to back down from the pedestal they have in the film industry. All I  want is for women to be celebrated and for female talent to be fostered-because more representation and diversity in the arts just means more quality. And that creates for better movies for everyone.
There are amazing organizations established exactly for this purpose, Bird’s Eye View being one of them. Their mission is to acclaim new female talent through film festivals and workshops for women. There are ongoing efforts to support female film directors, and I’m hoping to see more of that. I think of the greats out there-Sofia Coppola, a female filmmaker who challenges the barrier between male and female film directors; Lena Dunham, a personal inspiration of mine, who stars and writes her own show, Girls; as well as the fabulous Tina Fey. I look at these women who create so fervently and know that I want to be a part of that. I know there must be more than just 10%. I know there are more aspiring filmmakers out there.
I’m just hoping for the day when interviewers will no longer ask what it feels like to be a female director, a female comedian, a female writer. Someday there will no longer be a boundary between male and female creators. And I’ll be a part of it.

To a Year Without Resolutions (#9)

2012. The year (for me) of the Olympics memes, election year idiocy, goodbyes, hellos, and maybe most importantly-adapting. A year ago I was a pretty aimless seventh grader drunk with the notion of living without goals and expectations. A year ago I didn't know anyone at this school existed. A year ago, I thought I was content. And I guess I was, but I'm not one to enjoy placid complacency much. A year later, and I'm just the same old soul that's read a few more books, sang a few new songs, and visited a few new places. So it goes.

I left my home of four years because I had to, and hoped that I could reinvent myself, a self which I had grown a little bored of. Pretty early on, I realized that doing so was a lot easier in theory. Within just a month of being here I concluded that the idea of "letting go of the past" was some BS that people write in self-help books because it sounds nice. I'm not bitter. Not to go all Holden Caulfield on you, but you really can't just wake up one morning and decide to erase your past. I've seen Eternal Sunshine and moved enough to know that.

Not all of my epiphanies (if you are so generous to call them that) were all so cynical this year. I found that this past year was pretty excellent for me-with plenty of highs and lows, as is the case with every year. But I think in the soul-crushing, dreadfully long months of the summer, I came to find something really important for me; I'm not my surroundings. While where I live does play a large role in my life, I'm still my own person. Happiness isn't something I can find in the political boundaries on a map, nor in people. Happiness is something I can create for myself. At the end of the day, it's really not the place-it's the person. I'm ever-changing, ever-learning, ever-growing-figuring it out as I go, and maybe that's the fun of it all.

So as the clock found its way to the beginning of a fresh year, I found myself reflecting on my life through a series of inner-montages that I'd created in my head like any other normal teenager. Right? I'm not the type of person to throw myself into resolutions. I'm neither pro-resolutions nor anti-resolutions. I'm pro-make-it-a-damn-good-year-no-matter-what. And maybe not even "good", because who can control the circumstances they're thrown into? Maybe just make it a memorable year.

I don't have a resolution, partly because I'm perfect, but also because I'm more into the idea of setting small goals for myself. Like writing more, and improving social skills, and maybe becoming at least a little more organized (but let's be real, who am I kidding?). To quote Mindy Kaling,"Maybe I'll do one of those Eat, Pray, Love things. Ugh, I don't wanna pray. Forget it, I'll just die alone." I suppose mainly I just want to create more. Create things that I'm proud of and hope that other people enjoy those things. That is my happiness.

Happy New Year, guys.